The Customer is Always… Wrong, Part 2: Tales from the 2nd Window


I decided to collect my Facebook posts into another blog post. Enjoy.

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Wednesdays are still the worst, but this just happened-

Me: Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Nathan. May I take your order?

Customer: Yeah. Let me get a big fish… or, no. Let me get a fish filet.

Me: Um… the only fish we have is the big fish sandwich.

Customer: Is it hard?

Me: It’s… pollack.

Customer: Is it hard, though?

Me: Um…

Customer: The bread… is it hard?

Me: …

Customer: Nevermind. Let me get the big fish meal.

Me: Small, medium, or large?

Customer: Um… huh? Do you mean the sandwich?

Me: (turns off mic; to cook) Oh my fucking God. Has this guy never had fast food before? (Turns on mic; to customer) The fries and drink, sir. Small is the price on the board, medium is 50 cents more, the large is $1 more.

Customer: Large is fine.

Me: Your total is $7.20, second…

Customer: How is it $7.20?

Me: The large is $1 more than $5.79, then there’s tax.

Customer: Oh. Okay.

Me: Second window, please.

———————————————————————–

Burger King is not a French restaurant. We do not sell a rodèo (ro-day-o) burger. It’s a rodeo (ro-dee-o) burger.

You live in the US. In the south. This word should be familiar to you.

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Another one!

Me: Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Nathan. What can I get you for breakfast this morning?

Customer: It’s breakfast?

Me: Yes sir. Breakfast only.

Customer: Can I get a cheeseburger?

Me: Not until 7am. [note: it was 6:30 at this time.]

Customer: So no burgers?

Me: Not for half an hour.

Customer: So what can I get?

Me: *explains entire breakfast menu (which is on the drive-thru board and easy to read) to customer.*

Customer: So do you have any chicken, like nuggets or strips?

Me: That’s lunch, sir. That starts at 10:30.

Customer: Oh. So… what do you have?

Me: *explains the breakfast menu for a second time.*

Customer: Oh I get it. So can I get a sausage, egg, and cheese croissant, a sausage burrito, and a medium hashbrown?

Me: Is that all?

Customer: Yeah.

Me: Your total is $6.66, second window, please.

Customer: *at window* So do you have any nuggets or strips I can get?

Me: As I already said, sir, that’s lunch, which starts at 10:30… … … are you bothered by the price?

Customer: Naw. So what else do you have?

Me: We have a pancake platter, and we also have french toast sticks. That’s 3 for a dollar.

Customer: Can I get that?

Me: Sure. Your total is now $7.72

The customer pays for his order. As I hand his food out to him…

Customer: Can I get strips, too?

Me: Ten. Thirty.

Customer: Oh okay. Have a nice day.

———————————————————————–

At Burger King, the #6 [was… not anymore] a premium chicken sandwich (with fries and a drink). You [could] get the chicken one of two ways: crispy (fried w/ breading) or grilled (really flame-broiled; no breading). This [was] very clear on the menu board. [Now the crispy is #10 and the grilled is #11… this was during the older menu].

Yet again, a person in drive-thru who can neither read nor make sense of pictures:

Me: Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Nathan. May I take your order?

Customer: Can I get a number 6, please?

Me: Crispy or grilled?

Customer: … Huh?

Me: Crispy or grilled?

Customer: I don’t know what that means.

Me: Do you want a fried, breaded crispy chicken, or an unbreaded grilled chicken?

Customer: Ah. Um… no breading please.

Me: All right. Small, medium, or large?

Customer: Oh come on! If I wanted this much complication I would’ve gone to a real restaurant!

Me (to myself, off mic): *Well why didn’t you, then?*

Customer: I don’t understand.

Me: The meal comes with fries and a drink. What size do you want those?

Customer: Does it matter?

Me: *rings up a large* What to drink?

Customer: Water. And that’s it!

Me: Your total is $8.15, second window, please.

Customer (at the window): Can I get a cup of ice water?

Me: Along with the bottled water?

Customer: Huh?

Me: You get bottled water with the meal.

Customer: Whatever. When did fast food become so complicated?

Me: I’m sorry, but I don’t know.

Customer: Y’all need to make this shit simpler. You’ll lose customers.

Me: *hands food out.* Have a nice evening.

———————————————————————–

What part of “2nd window” is so hard to understand? Starting at 10:00pm, at least half the customers who came through sat at the first window despite me saying quite clearly “second window please” and there not being anyone in front of them.

I just don’t get it. I don’t get the people who come through here.

I don’t get the people who think choosing a size for fries and a drink is complicated. I don’t get the people who come back every night just to complain. I don’t get the people who think this is McDonald’s. I don’t get the people who can’t pronounce “rodeo” and “satisfries”. I don’t get the people who will sit at the menu board for over 10 minutes just to order a value fry and nothing else. I don’t get the people who will still try to order a burger after 4am but before 7am after they’ve been told, more than once, that after 4, there are no burgers until 7.

Maybe this is what’s wrong with this country. The extremely wealthy can get away with corrupting our political system and destroying this country, while our elected leaders continue to commit war crimes, all because the average USian can’t even understand how fast food works.

Yes, this is how cynical Burger King has made me.

———————————————————————–

Burger King still has the 2/$5 deal on numerous sandwiches, including the Whopper. Also, the summer coupons dropped, and they include a coupon for Buy-One-Get-One free Whoppers.

Me: Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Nathan. May I take your order?

Customer: Can I get 2 Whoppers?

Me: Do you have a coupon?

Customer: No I do not. Do you?

Me: Nope. Anything else?

Customer: Uh… nah, that’s it.

Me: $5.30, second window, please.

Customer: *at window* *hands me the BOGO Whopper coupon*

Me: Umm… you said you didn’t have a coupon, so I wrung up the 2 for $5.

Customer: You must of misheard me. Does it matter?

Me: I’m gonna have to do a void…

Customer: I mean, it’s not my fault you can’t hear.

Me: … *does void, gets rid of customer, takes long drag on vape.*

———————————————————————–

Quick note:

Burger King is not an ice cream restaurant. Yes, we have VANILLA ice cream. We do not have chocolate ice cream. We do not have strawberry ice cream. We do not have rocky road ice cream. We do not have moose tracks ice cream. We do not have chocolate chip ice cream. We do not have cookie dough ice cream.

We are not a yogurt shop. We are not Dairy Queen. We are not Bruster’s.

All we have is vanilla ice cream, which is used mainly to make our chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla shakes.

Yes, we have “sundaes”, which consist of either chocolate fudge, caramel topping, or strawberry topping on the vanilla ice cream in a little cup. We do have a brownie sundae, which consists of vanilla ice cream, chocolate fudge, and a brownie.

Aside from brownies, we do not have sprinkles. We do not have cookie dough topping. We do not have Reeses Pieces. We no longer have oreo topping. We do not have nuts. We do not have cherries.

All of this is actually obvious on our menu, in that if it’s not on our menu, we don’t have it (with two exceptions: we still have the fry burger, which isn’t on the menu, and the oreo pieces still appear on the menu despite us not having them).

Please stop pretending like Burger King is a fancy ice cream shop and asking for crap we will likely never have…

This includes chocolate truffle pieces, idiot who just cussed me out because we don’t have those and so “clearly don’t have the right to sell ice cream”…

———————————————————————–

Me: Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Nathan. May I take your order?

Customer: Can I get an extra-long BBQ cheeseburger?

Me: Actually, we’re out of onion rings. We can put white onions on it if you want.

Customer: Nah. Um… how about… one rodeo burger and one rodeo crispy chicken?

Me: Again, we’re out of onion rings.

Customer: Oh. Hold on, please…

I’ll just get a number one meal.

Me: Small, medium, or large?

Customer: Large. With a coke. And can I get onion rings instead of fries?

Me: No.

Customer: Why not?

Me: For the third time. We are out of onion rings.

Customer: You know what then? Fuck you. You fucks are always out of onion rings every time I fucking come here! I’m calling corporate! *drives off*

———————————————————————–

Me: Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Nathan. May I take your order?

Customer: Can I get two Whopper Jrs with cheese? And I have a second order.

Me: Okay. Go ahead.

Customer: Can I get a value fry?

Me: Is that all?

Customer: Yes.

Me: Second window, please.

*The customer pulls to the first window and pays for the first order. They then proceed to pay for the second order with the change from the first order. I still don’t understand why the customer did two separate orders.*

(For the record, they didn’t want the receipts)

———————————————————————–

Me: Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Nathan. May I take your order?

Customer: Can I get a Whopper Jr with cheese and bacon, with no mayo or onion? And an extra burger patty?

Me: Is that all?

Customer: Let me also get a honey mustard wrap grilled and two medium fries. And that’ll be it.

Me: Your total is $9.60, second window, please.

*The customer pulls up to the second window and pays. I hand them their food. They proceed to pull out the Whopper Jr, unwrap it, open it, and…*

Customer (while staring at the square of yellow American Cheese): I asked for cheese. Where’s my cheese?

Me: Um… you’re looking at it?

Customer: Do I look like an idiot to you? Do I look like a fucking moron? Do I look like a blind fuck? (While saying this, he’s wrapped the burger back up and shoved it in my hands) Now go put some fucking cheese on it!

*I go into the kitchen, stand there for a few seconds re-wrapping the burger correctly, then go to the drive-thru and hand it back to the customer.*

Customer (opens the burger, looks at the same square of cheese, then looks back at me): Thank you! Now that wasn’t so hard, was it? Don’t let it happen again. Next time I’m calling corporate. *drives off*

———————————————————————–

This didn’t just happen, but does happen more often than I’d like. This usually happens after 2 in the morning…

Me: Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Nathan. May I take your order?

Customer: And how are you today? (waits for me to answer)

Me (in my head): It’s after 2 in the fucking morning and I’m here waiting for you to give me your fucking order. How the fuck do you think I’m doing?

Me (to customer): Fine. Go ahead with your order.

And the order proceeds as normal…

I know they’re just being nice and I shouldn’t complain, but still… it’s annoying…

———————————————————————–

Me: Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Nathan. May I take your order?

Customer: Do y’all do fraps?

Me: Yes. Mocha and Caramel.

Customer: What about something like a White Chocolate frap?

Me: Nope. Sorry, but this is Burger King, not Starbucks.

Customer: Why?

Me: … Why is this not Starbucks?

Customer: If you’re going to advertise fraps, you should do better than fucking Mocha and Caramel.

Me: Um… sorry?

Customer: Don’t say sorry. How can we make this right?

Me: Um… you can go to Starbucks?

Customer: Look asshole. Starbucks is closed and I want a White Chocolate frap. Now are you going to make me one or not?

Me: Nope.

Customer: I’m calling corporate.

Me: Be my guest. They’ll just tell you the same thing I did.

Customer: Fuck you asshole. *speeds through the drive-thru and flicks me off as he passes the window*

———————————————————————–

Me: Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Nathan. May I take your order?

Customer: (to his friends) Yo boys we got a female here! (to me) Hey! Can you lick my whistle baby?

Me: I’m pretty sure the name “Nathan” is a guy’s name, making me a male. And since you’re clearly a misogynistic prick, I will not be taking your order.

*I take off my headset and finish End of Day.*

(This isn’t the first time I’ve been mistaken for a woman over the drive-thru and then harassed. It’s just the first time I decided to post about it.)

———————————————————————–

A dinner one! From the front counter!

Me: Hey. What can I get you?

Customer: Can I get the crispy chicken jr as a meal? How much is that?

Me: $4.19 plus tax.

Customer: Why so expensive? I pay $3.17 at the other place.

Me: I could do the sandwich with a value fry and drink.

Customer: Let’s do that.

Me: Okay. *rings up order* Your total is $3.79

Customer: What? That’s too expensive! No. Just let me get a spicy crispy chicken jr and the value fries.

Me: *voids order, rings up new order* Your new total is $2.43

*The customer proceeds to pull out a wad of 20’s and 100’s and tries to give me a 100.*

Me: I’m sorry, this is a new drawer. I can’t take a hundred.

*The customer huffs and angrily hands me a 20.*

Customer: Happy now?

*I have no idea how to respond, so I just pretend I didn’t hear and expo the order.*

———————————————————————–

Question.

Let’s say you decide to go to a fast food place. It’s the middle of the day, so numerous stores are open. You’re not particularly picky about where you go, and you aren’t in a rush.

You notice one place, say, a burger joint. You notice that the cars are lined up practically to the street and there’s no parking in the lot. Are you the kind of person who says “I’m feeling like a selfish asshole today, so let me sit in this extremely long line and complain about how slow it is” or are you the kind of person who says “you know what? There are other burger joints. Let me try one of those”?

Inquiring minds want to know…

———————————————————————–

I’m starting to question why modern houses have kitchens at all. Clearly no one uses them anymore…

———————————————————————–

Me: Thank you for choosing Burger King. My name is Nathan. May I take your order?

Customer: Can I get two orders, please?

Me: Sure.

Customer: Okay. On the first order, can I get a ten piece nugget, a large fry, and a small sprite?

Me: Do you have a coupon?

Customer: Um… not for this order.

Me: Okay. Your total is $6.46, go ahead with your second order…

Customer: This one we do have a coupon. Can we get the Big King meal for two and three Hershey pies? With a Dr. Pepper and a lemonade…

Me: Anything else?

Customer: Nope.

Me: All right, your total is $12.78, second window, please.

*Customer pulls up to the second window. I go to tell the customer the price of the first order, and they hand me a coupon.*

Me: For the second order?

Customer: Nope, that’s the first order.

Me: I thought you said you didn’t have a coupon.

Customer: No, I said I did.

*So I close the window, void out the first order, and rering it up with the coupon. Then I reopen the window.*

Me: Your new total is $5.29

*Customer hands me a credit card.*

Customer: I don’t need the receipt.

*I finish the transaction and hand back the card.*

Me: The second order is $12.78

*Customer hands me the exact same card.*

Customer: We don’t need the receipt.

*I finish the transaction and give them their food.*

———————————————————————–

So! This happened at work tonight. We were too busy for me to put it up right afterwards, so my memory’s mildly hazy. However, this is it. Note, I wasn’t the one running drive-thru:

Employee: Thank you for choosing Burger King. Can I help you?

Customer: Yes. Can we get the number 1 and number 2, just the sandwiches?

Employee: So a whopper and a double whopper? Would you like cheese on those?

Customer: Wait… what? I said a number 1 and a number 2.

Employee: Right. Whopper is number 1, Double Whopper is number 2. Do you want cheese on those?

Customer: No! Number 1 and number 2!

Me: I’m sorry, but that’s what my employee is saying. He’s jut asking if you want cheese on the number 1 and the number 2. It’s an add-on.

Customer: Oh! Yes.

Me: Okay. Is that all?

Customer: Yes.

Me: Second window, please.

(The customer pulls up to the second window, and this is what I hear:)

Customer (who I assume at this point is looking at their food, since it’s already been passed out): No! I said number 1 and number 2! What are these things?

Employee: Are you serious? The number one is a whopper meal. The number 2 is the double whopper meal. That’s what it says on our menu. That’s what we gave you. A whopper and a double whopper, both with cheese.

Customer: This isn’t right.

Employee: Have you ever eaten at Burger King before?

Customer: All the time! I’m a regular! Don’t insult my intelligence.

Employee: All right. That’s your food. It’s busy in here. Have a nice night. *shuts window*

(The customer proceeds to sit there looking something up on their phone before driving off with the sandwiches.)

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About Nathan Hevenstone

I hate straight, white, cis-gendered, able-bodied men. I also play guitar and sing, and I'm an atheist and anti-theist. What now?
This entry was posted in Advertising, Food and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to The Customer is Always… Wrong, Part 2: Tales from the 2nd Window

  1. Pingback: Formaldehyde Found in Electronic Cigarettes? E-Cigs, Science, Regulation, and Me | Atheism, Music, and More…

  2. strivingally says:

    Holy crap fast food is cheap in the USA compared to Australia. And I totally think there’s a small subsection of humanity that revels in inflicting abuse on service industry employees because they pretty much have to sit there and take it if they want to keep their jobs.

    Don’t let the bastards grind you down!

  3. I don’t eat fast food, mainly because I eat a really weird diet…I’m poor by American standards in money…but I never thought of myself as rich in time. I guess I am rich in time.

    @ Tony…thanks for giving me an odd little happy.
    I usually feel kind of resentful that I chose not to have a kid due to poverty, chronic illness and crazy, because it’s not a happy choice, right? I would have loved to have a child. I did the right thing in my case and did not.
    It does have benefits, and I forget that.

    @ Nathan…when did we turn into a culture where we just lash out at random people, because we can get away with it? *shakes head*
    Condolences for having to deal with these thoughtless asshats.

  4. LMAO! Another reason we know the universe is utterly indifferent to humans is that you don’t have a book deal.

    Yet.

  5. Tony says:

    Nate, I have a small issue with this:
    “And if you don’t have time for that, that’s just sad and you desperately need to reschedule your life. Time management… it’s possible.”

    This sounds like its coming from a position of privilege. I’m thinking of the families with parents who work one or two jobs and don’t have time to cook. Or have the time to grocery shop as frequently as they’d like. Or those that don’t know how to cook. Or combinations of those. It also seems predicated on the idea that families know how to grocery shop for healthier foods (side note, I discovered years ago that shopping along the rim of grocery stores for the healthiest foods-fruits, veggies, meats, seafood, dairy, eggs, etc; there are some things in the middle aisles that are of varying levels of importance-you can’t find rice, pasta, or dog food on the outer edge of supermarkets-but overall the outer edge is the place to go for the healthiest stuff)

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