On “Incel” (Shy Boys: IRL)


There are a lot of guys out there for who this term, which is short for “involuntarily celibate”, is a nightmare situation.

I’ve already elucidated on this in the past, but it does describe me.

Yet I shy away… no… run away at the speed of light while shooting atomic bombs back at… this term and the stuff associated with it.


I get it, believe me. I get the frustration that goes along with “dry spells” and/or “no experience”.

But you know what makes this whole thing so revolting to me?

The men associated with it.

Here’s a documentary y’all should watch:

The first guy they introduce us to, Michael, is the owner of a forum they decide to highlight.

Then there’s the second guy they introduced us to? Erm… they use his forum name: Advanced (the forum is the forum owned by Michael that they highlight in this film). His perception of how life works is already messed up, but it’s how he responds to the sound guy and one of the producers of the film, Kyle, in the film at around 17 mins and 22 secs in…

The pick-up artist (not “Advanced”) that they’ve already introduced us to at that point “accuses” Kyle of having “feminist views”. Kyle responds by saying “yeah I agree that women are people”. And how does “Advanced” respond?

“No! See? That’s bullshit. And if you don’t realize that then you’ve been brainwashed.” (I think I should point out here that the person operating the camera and interviewing these men is a woman named Sara Gardephe. So yeah. She had to sit through that.)

Hey “Advanced”? Did you ever think that maybe that’s why you aren’t getting laid?

Earlier in the film he guessed that he’d been rejected about 3,000 times. And he did spot the common denominator: himself. But he thinks the problem is his face. So he wants to get plastic surgery to fix it… but he needs a job, first.

Actually… I think Michael’s right. Michael talks about how personality is important. They contrast that with “Advanced” who thinks looks are everything.

But personality is important. I thought looks were important as well, especially when I was younger and had to deal with being called “ugly” by a lot of people. But I was wrong. Personality is more important in most things. Sure, most people make a first judgement based on a visual impression, but that impression is as much about what you’re wearing and how you’re holding yourself. And at the end of the day, that impression has to be solidified, and it’s your personality that solidifies that impression.

Because seriously… if you’re response to “women are people” is “BULLSHIT!”, then no amount of plastic surgery can ever fix your situation.

And now I want to introduce you to another “incel”. I have to post a warning, though. The crap this guy posts… is beyond disturbing. So major trigger warning for rape, rape apologia, suicidal thoughts, murder, and more. Basically… just don’t click on this link and read this stuff unless you either have no triggers in these areas or are feeling particularly strong. And even if you meet one or both of those conditions, wading through it will likely use up all of your spoons anyways…

Luckily, the wordpress blog has been deleted. But people on Tumblr have responded to a lot of the crap posted at the blog. So here’s that link.

Again… I reiterate that huge, gigantic TRIGGER WARNING:


And I know… I know… there are a lot of “good incels”. I’m picking out the worst and painting with a broad brush.

And hey… that may be true! Maybe there are incels out there who are feminists! And it would legitimately not at all surprise me to find that there are incels out there who are women (in fact, I would be shocked if there weren’t, seeing as getting laid is either easy or hard for all humans, no matter what their gender identity is). And I’ll bet that there are incels who fall on the LGBTQ spectrum, too!

Because… you know… “not having sex” is not something limited to exclusively straight, white, cis-gendered, able-bodied men.

And yet I get the impression that only a specific subset of men actually take it seriously as a “condition” that needs to be “cured”. And really? That right there is the first obstacle to getting laid: pretending that being “incel” is this horrible condition that needs to be cured.

The next big one would be denying that women are people. Because I feel like not being thought of as people would be a huge turn-off to women.

But anyways…

Either we need to lose this whole “incel” thing, or we need to change it. As a technical term it’s fine, but with all this nasty-as-hell baggage associated with it it’s horrible.

About Nathan Hevenstone

I'm an SJW, Socialist, Jewish Agnostic Atheist, Foodie, and Guitarist. Hi! https://allmylinks.com/jimmyrrpage
This entry was posted in Bullying, Feminism, Misanthropy, Misogyny, Rape Culture, Sexism, Trigger Warning and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to On “Incel” (Shy Boys: IRL)

  1. blahlistic says:

    @ Nate, if you’re celibate, I assume it’s b/c you’re waiting on Ms Right, as opposed to Ms Right Now?
    You’re smart, funny, and not bad-looking.

  2. thatincelblogger says:

    Nathan, I have no idea why your incel doesn’t bother you but know that this is extremely incommon in incels.

    In any case, your stupid beliefs that 1. incel is merely about sex 2. you will “lose it when you lose it”, as if that’s a certainty (are you 12?) 3. we believe we’re owed something

    is why it is good that you’re incel and why I hope you’ll never stop being one. The last thing this world needs is another liberal reproducing.

  3. Pingback: Elliot Rodger, Misogyny, Entitlement, and Why #YesAllWomen Matters | Atheism, Music, and More…

  4. Hahah says:

    I think the next version of the DSM should include incel aggression disorder: a condition in which a male, with physiological deficiencies of the frontal lobe and genitals, unable to mate with willing females of any species, expresses his failure through uncontrollable outbursts of hostility in online forums. Condition untreatable at present.

    • thatincelblogger says:

      I know this is just a mean-spirited, retarded attempt at being funny but anyway… Read this to understand why almost all noncels are the actual losers http://thatincelblogger.wordpress.com/2014/07/22/the-story-of-your-incel-an-inconvenient-truth/

      • I let this through because I think it needs to be read. Not because I agree with it, but because I find it gross and dangerous, but I think people should be warned… That Incel Blogger thinks misogynistic murderer Elliot Rodgers is right.

        That’s scary.

      • thatincelblogger says:

        ” That Incel Blogger thinks misogynistic murderer Elliot Rodgers is right.”
        My essay said he had some good ideas but didn’t understand the crucial thing – that men are to be blamed. Also, ER died due to incel, which is caused by feminism.

      • Incel didn’t fucking kill him. Why can I be a 27-year-old virgin without going around killing anyone or blaming women? I made my “Maybe I Am Broken” private because it really doesn’t represent how I feel (unless I’m drunk and watching mainstream porn for the comedic value, apparently). I’m fine with being a virgin. I’ll lose it when I lose it, but it doesn’t control my life and I sure as fuck don’t think women owe me sex, or anything else, for that matter.

        Why is such a simple concept so hard for people like Elliott Rodgers and you to understand. Women don’t owe men anything at all. They are human beings who deserve the same basic right to bodily autonomy that we men already have.

  5. Simon says:

    I think that “incels” are a prime example of Poe’s Law. Basically, these guys are trolls and counting on Web users to read between the lines and realize that it’s all a big joke.
    These guys take the worst aspects of MRAs, PuAs and “Nice Guys” to such an extreme that it borders on parody. Hence why I think it’s an example of Poe’s Law; these guys are mocking the “manosphere” in an ironic way but aren’t letting anyone know since it invites idiots who actually believe this to show their true colors.

  6. Simon says:

    I’m convinced “incels” are an elaborate joke.
    They take all the worst elements of MRAs, PuAs and “Nice Guys”TM to such an extreme that it borders on parody.
    I think they’re trolling everyone and mocking the misogyny of the “manosphere” in an ironic way.

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  8. I always feel so heartened when I run across young male bloggers like yourself who “get it.” Hope this doesn’t come off as condescending, but I’ve been steeped in the “manosphere” for a year and it’s hard not to despair sometimes. You’re right: being an (occasional) “involuntary celibate” is just part of the human condition for most people, regardless of age, gender, class or race. I’ve watched the film you refer to as well, and had a similar response (albeit from the perspective of a middle aged woman).

    • thatincelblogger says:

      “I always feel so heartened when I run across young male bloggers like yourself who “get it.”

      He doesn’t get it. He’s an indoctrinated drone parroting lies of those who despise him and couldn’t give a shit about his problems. He is the lowest kind of person alive because not even slaves like the boots of their oppressors so much. And this is what makes me so glad he is incel, solely for the fact that every liberal drone not procreating is a small success.

      “I’ve been steeped in the “manosphere” for a year and it’s hard not to despair sometimes.”

      Incels aren’t a part of manosphere and are despised by most of its members. Ask somebody like Roosh or Matt Forney what they think about us – they despise us for being too messed up to learn game or change our lifestyle. Which is a shame, as we have many common views and a common enemy – those like you.

      ” is just part of the human condition for most people, regardless of age, gender, class or race”

      Nonsense. It is very uncommon for women at any age to be incel. Most women who claim to be incel are actually hicel http://www.love-shy.com/lswiki/Hicel and their claims of incel are a mockery on actual incels.
      There are also differences regarding age and class (rich people are much less likely to be so), hell even with race – most incels are white.
      To claim that it happens to most people regardless of these factors, especially gender, is to live in a liberal lalaland.

      ” I’ve watched the film you refer to as well, and had a similar response (albeit from the perspective of a middle aged woman).”

      As long as he will listen to and share opinions with evil ideologues like you he won’t get out of incel. To my great pleasure.

      • Hicel, huh? Considering my sapiophilia (on top of my preferences for looks), that could actually describe me… if… again… it wasn’t bogged down by so much misogynistic baggage…

        Also… I’d like to suggest that maybe the reason your incel is the same reason “Advanced” is incel… because you both clearly have fucked up, shitty personalities, and you have seriously horrid views of women.

      • thatincelblogger says:

        Nathan, the concept of hicel has nothing to do with any misogynistic baggage whatsoever. What you said is just another silly fabrication.

        As for why I am incel, did you know that I was a liberal feminist until 2012 at that I slept with some women after I abandoned that hate cult? Anyway, read http://thatincelblogger.wordpress.com/2014/02/26/darkness-2/

    • Simon says:

      Hey Incel Blogger, didn’t you ask your mom to let you fuck her because you were “desperate”?
      Fucking loser.

  9. thatincelblogger says:

    I have to disappoint you, Nate. The blog is still on and going strong, it just changed it’s name http://thatincelblogger.wordpress.com/

    Regarding this post itself it’s hilariously clueless and full of lies (that incel is a disorder, that incels think they’re entitled etc), all sprinkled with psychopathy (claiming that incel isn’t a big problem is sick).

    As for you, read about people like yourself here http://thatincelblogger.wordpress.com/what-is-tac/

  10. Of course you’re right: “incel” itself is just a neutral descriptor when it means “I would very much like to be sexually active but I do not presently have a partner.” The nasty baggage renders it to mean “I am entitled to a sexual partner, and these horrible evil subhumans won’t give me what I deserve!”

    And you’re spot on about personality. I am by most accounts conventionally attractive, yet I have partnered with people who are not conventionally attractive—some not by a long shot. What they all had in common was intelligence, a sense of adventure and fun, and the ability to make me laugh. Go figure.

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