I Know What I Find Attractive, Thanks.

This’ll be short…

So I had a “discussion” not long ago about what I find attractive.

It’s actually a conversation that comes up often with people who insist on fixing me up because they want me to “lose my virginity” (because they think I’m broken, though they won’t say that, of course… usually). And there are a lot of people around me who want to hook me up with someone, and always try to invite me to parties because they “know a girl [they] just know [I]’d like”.

So I listed out what I find attractive, both physically and personality-wise. I noted that I was a sapiophile. For those who don’t know, that means I’m highly attracted to intelligence. Likely because I’m downright shit at small talk, I would much rather talk about heady stuff, like politics and science and social issues and such, and also music. So I always look for someone who enjoys such conversations a lot… gives preference to them, even!

This time, however, I got a strange response. One of my friends actually said to me “you don’t want a woman who’s smarter than you.” When I went to protest, they insisted. “No. Trust me. You don’t. No man wants a woman who’s smarter than him.”


Actually… depending on what that intelligence is in, yes, I do. If… just as an example… she’s studying Theoretical Physics and Cosmology with a goal to work on what caused the Big Bang, I would fucking love that. That would be amazing. To me, that isn’t intimidating… it’s awesome.

If she’s political, is a vocal atheist and feminist, and actually knows more about those issues than I do… that’s even better. And if she has greater knowledge of music…


Don’t tell me what I find attractive, because you don’t know. If you aren’t attracted to people who are more intelligent than you, then that’s fine. But that’s also your preference. Your preferences are not objective, and they do not apply to any person on the planet other than you.

I know what I find attractive, thanks. I don’t need someone else to tell me.

About Nathan Hevenstone

I'm an SJW, Socialist, Jewish Agnostic Atheist, Foodie, and Guitarist. Hi! https://allmylinks.com/jimmyrrpage
This entry was posted in Bullying, Sexism and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I Know What I Find Attractive, Thanks.

  1. fojap says:

    My best friend is often attracted to women who are smarter than he is. You’re far from alone in this. In fact, I’d say all of my serious relationships have been with men who like smart women. Admittedly, that’s not a random sample, but I’ve been able to meet enough of them.

  2. phillybookpicks says:

    Awesome post, take care !

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