I’m Just Trying to Get Laid


“You’re just a white knight trying to get laid.”

We all know it’s true. Men who self-identify as feminists are just trying to get laid. Like white knights, we’re just trying to save women in the hopes that they will happily come back to our beds, just like they show in those cartoons and movies and TV shows and video games, because those are all totes realistic displays of real life.

Because that’s what we men do, you see. Women, anytime a man interacts with you in any way, shape, or form, no matter what it is, he’s just trying to get laid. Even if you’re at the drive-through and he says “good morning. May I take your order?” (instead of addressing the man who’s supposed to be driving you).

Because this is all we men know how to do. Sex is the only thing that drives us. It’s all we think about and all we do. We’re just skin covering insane thoughts of sex. We have boners 24/7 and no self-control whatsoever. As such, everything we do is just so we can have sex with you. This is why rapists are never at fault and sexual harassment just isn’t that big of a deal. You can’t hold us poor, animalistic menz responsible for thoughts and actions we have no control over, can you?

Huh?

Can you?

I hope people picked up the snarky sarcasticness in that. I sincerely hope so, because, honestly, it hurt to type.

I never understood this line of thinking. I’ve been called a “white knight” more times than I can count. After going on a pro-feminist rant, the most common response I get is “and how many of them have fucked you?”

Why?

Why does my motivation for trying to be a feminist ally have to be sex? Why can’t it just be that I’m a decent human being, that feminists seem to care more about actual men’s rights issues than MRAs do (despite the fact that feminists don’t have to), and that I really do believe in that radical notion that women are human beings, too? Why does it always have to be about “getting laid”?

And besides… if my motivation were about getting laid, I’m doing an absolutely horrendous job at it, aren’t I? (See my post about my journey from Nice Guy™ to Feminism to see what I mean.) Indeed… I’m failing miserably.

But see, I’m not trying to get laid. I don’t hold to that anti-man convention that MRAs and Nice Guys™ hold to that the male is motivated by his penis. I refuse to believe that. I am a human being with thoughts and desires, a personality and goals, and a life. I don’t spend my waking hours thinking about sex, and I certainly don’t spend my sleeping hours dreaming about it (all the time). Of course I want to have sex. With women, even! But that has no bearing on the rest of my life. It does not motivate how I interact with the real world.

Men, listen up. If your libido is all that drives you; if you can’t imagine coming to defense of a woman for any reason without expectations of a sexy reward (or any kind of reward, really); then you need help.

Badly.

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About Nathan Hevenstone

I hate straight, white, cis-gendered, able-bodied men. I also play guitar and sing, and I'm an atheist and anti-theist. What now?
This entry was posted in Activism, Bullying, Feminism, Misogyny, Sexism, Social Justice and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to I’m Just Trying to Get Laid

  1. Pingback: The Friend Zone | Atheism, Music, and More…

  2. notyourfeminazi says:

    I especially love the MRAs who say that they don’t hate women and do believe that all genders should be equal, then turn around and call men who identify as feminists “manginas”. -.-

  3. oolon says:

    Its quite funny in its absurdity on the internet given I’m often 1000’s of miles away from any women feminists in the same thread… I must be hoping for some seriously unlikely sex there.

    Amazes me how they can call other men white knights then go on about feminists hating men. That caricature of sex obsessed feminist men wading nostril deep through MRA comment threads as long as there is a feminist with a sex cookie at the end of it all…. Is very Solanas like and not at all a parody or the product of one damaged mind, its common in MRA circles as you point out.

    • Joe H. says:

      I got the same deal here. I live on the other side of the world from most of the women these dipshits are talking about, plus I’m married. So yeah, it’s perfectly logical to think I’m a feminist to get sex from women who live nowhere near me after leaving my wife for no reason(I guess the prospect of sex from total strangers on the other side of the world is supposed to be the reason).

      Seriously, is there anything stupider than an MRA? ANYTHING?

      • Young-Earth Creationists? They’re at least tied…

        Though stupid isn’t the word, partly ’cause the word’s ableist, and partly ’cause it seems obvious to me that the ignorance is willful…

  4. Great post. I really don’t understand the ‘Friend zone’ thing either. What an absolute disaster to know a woman who only wants to talk and spend time with you! As if she was, like, a real person or something! I think you have to feel a degree of pity for someone who can’t have a relationship with the opposite sex without it being sexual.

  5. Your snark is snarktastic. The voices you are mocking, however, are truly scary. It sure isn’t concern for you that motivates a person to call you a white night or say “and how many of them have fucked you?” It’s dominance behavior, a repellant urge to “put you in your place” and let you (and anyone else within earshot) know who’s The Real Man™.

  6. I have to wonder just how they explain gay male feminists.
    Is it that I’m not *really* gay?

    • I seriously doubt that even crosses their minds. They think with their little heads, so they think that all men think with our little heads. And since they are often straight, that means all men men are straight. A man who isn’t straight in the straightest way possible disrupts that narrative. So they ignore those men.

      [snark]Or maybe I’m just reading homophobia into somewhere it doesn’t belong… [/snark]

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