Are you a Men’s Rights Activist? Good. I have some questions for you because, frankly, I’m confused. I don’t understand what you’re fighting for. You’re a man. Are you aware of what that means in our society?
Another question… are you white? If so, then why… seriously… why… are you an MRA?
We own the rights on this planet. Everyone else who has rights has them because we saw fit to give those people those rights. We white men literally rule the world. If someone wants the right to be able to do something… anything… it is to us white men they have to come to get that right… and we don’t have to give it to them.
So I’m honestly confused.
What is it, exactly, that you’re an activist for?
Is it the fact that mothers are overwhelmingly favored in child custody fights?
Why do you think that is?
There’s a fascinating idea set up mainly by patriarchal systems: the woman’s job is to stay at home and raise the children. This is what she does. She is not allowed to have a career. She is not allowed to work if she has children. If a woman has children, her job is to stay at home and raise those children.
Now yes, this has changed. Much to the chagrin of Conservative Christians, many mothers have careers (and still manage to raise wonderful kids). But has it changed entirely?
I have the perfect evidence for you: mothers are overwhelmingly favored in child custody fights.
See the logic, there? It’s the very patriarchy you’re insisting “doesn’t exist” (or you want to keep intact… not sure which it is) that causes this imbalance. Because men can’t raise children. The man’s job is to have a career; not stay at home and spend days with his kids. A good father is one that leaves just before the kids do for his job as a CEO of a major company, while in his off-time teaching their boys about the “wonders” of having a career while the mother teaches their girls about the “wonders” of being a homemaker.
And this exact same thing applies to divorce court… women get the home and all contained therein, because the home is where the woman belongs.
So it can’t be that.
How about the way husbands are portrayed in commercials?
Well, let’s start out with the whole “turn-about’s fair play” thing. I mean, there are tons of commercials that portray men as perfect, intelligent, and social, while women are portrayed as sex dolls, stupid, or both.
But it’s deeper than that… you see, even the commercials that make husbands look like idiots are created and produced mainly by men… after all, the commercial industry is yet another overwhelmingly male industry. What this does is provide men an excuse… in fact, it reinforces the stereotype that the woman’s place is in the home, while the man’s place is in a career.
How does it reinforce this?
In the commercials that portray husbands as idiots, they are only idiots concerning home matters. These same commercials show women as intelligent… in home matters. One commercial has a husband working late. His wife calls him and says “happy anniversary”. It shows that he forgot, but manages to cover it. So he’s good at his job (working late, getting things done) but absolutely shit at being a husband (forgetting their anniversary)… which is a category underneath home, not career. So it again enforces the same “gender roles” stereotype.
So it can’t be that.
And I’m at a loss for anything else…
Except that you MRAs say that feminism is wrong; it’s unneeded, overwrought, past its prime, and so on.
However, I’m challenging this on one very important point: misogyny is still a huge problem. Rape culture is still pervasive, and goes on every fucking day all around us.
(Trigger warning for ALL the following links, as they discuss sexual harassment all the way to rape.)
This woman was verbally assaulted twice on the subway. These two women are dealing with the “creep in my circle of friends”, and not even their partners will support them. This person has an actual rapist in zir’s circle of friends, and zie is actually questioning whether or not zie should care. This woman was fingered by a random stranger in the middle of the street in Washington, DC. This woman was very nearly raped in New York just off the Subway, and the cops wouldn’t do anything about it. This woman was blamed by a judge because she was fingered in a bar by an off-duty cop. This sexual assault victim could be jailed for outing the names of her attackers on Twitter. This Trans teen was murdered in Chicago… for being Trans. This student was gang-raped, and then was told by her college counselor to not report it. This woman is sexually harassed on an almost daily basis. So is this woman. This woman was not allowed to complete her birth control regimen in an attempt to keep herself from getting pregnant after being raped, because she was jailed when they found that she had an arrest warrant for failure to pay restitution, and the person in control of her second pill didn’t believe in birth control.
And that’s just a sampling of the disgusting, pathetic shit I’ve found online.
Don’t get me wrong. I realize that men can be sexually assaulted, too. And that it can sometimes be a woman who is the criminal (or, in this case, six women). And don’t get me started on prison rape.
But even when the victim is male, and the rapist/sexual-assaulter is female, it is still a symptom of rape culture, which itself is a symptom of the patriarchy (which itself a part of the kyriarchy).
So please… MRAs… explain this to me… why are you fighting the people trying to change all of this, considering that it hurts us men, too? Why do you insist on attacking the wrong enemy?
I’d really like to know.
(Quick commenting note: When I first opened this blog, I set it up such that first-time commenters are in moderation. Normally, I’m very liberal about who I approve. That is… I approve everyone.
But I will not be so nice this time around. If I catch even a whiff of victim-blaming, your comment will not make it out of moderation. It will be deleted, and you will find yourself utterly unable to comment on my blog ever again. I don’t want to see anything that can even be mistaken as victim-blaming. And I’m being an asshole on this because I very simply won’t stand for it. So please… answer my questions to your heart’s content. Explain this whole MRA thing to me.
But don’t you dare, under any circumstances, blame any of these victims or any other victim for what’s happened to them.
You will not be treated fairly if you do. Your comment will never be seen by anybody but me. If you have a problem with this censorship, then fine. But my blog is not the US. I do not have to abide by the 1st amendment here. Your free speech on this blog is a privilege that I see fit to give to you and take away from you. If you are going to use the privilege of free speech that I provide to you to blame victims, then you will lose that privilege.
Are we clear?
You can say anything else. You can attack me, threaten me, answer my questions, insult me… anything you want. But you will not. Under any circumstances. Engage in victim-blaming. It will be dealt with swiftly and privately. You will not get a notice. You will not get another chance. Your comment will be deleted and you will be banned.
If this is a problem for you, then fuck right off and don’t bother commenting. Because my blog is going to be a safe space for victims, whether you like it or not. So you will abide by this, or you simply will not comment.
Are we clear?
Now comment away…)