Now, you don’t have to write your papers any more! Use this handy-dandy template to do it for you. Hell… just submit this to your journals, unedited!
And I offer it completely free!
Of course, I do so because it’s not mine. I have to thank Jeff Johnson, a commenter at Why Evolution is True. There is a word edition to his original, but I can’t even claim that. It comes from Ant Allen on the same site.
Here’s the template:
Even though I can fill paragraphs with references to biochemical concepts and scientific findings, I lack the intelligence, imagination, and understanding to visualize how evolution could be possible.
Since my limited intellectual capacity leaves me with the feeling that such a grand system and sublime process is inexplicable and inconceivable, I will declare it to be impossible.
On the other hand, I can easily grasp and accept the idea that an ineffable yet benevolent divine intelligence created all that we can see via some inexplicable and inconceivable means, the specifics of which elude my limited intellectual capacity to imagine. I will therefore declare this to be not only possible, but undoubtedly true.
You may think that this makes me sound like an idiot who uses a double standard to arrange for every conclusion to arrive at the result I desired from the start.
You would be correct.
No no no. Don’t thank me. You’ll never need to thank me. Thank Jeff Johnson. He’s the one with the big heart, willing to spend his time writing this up for you.