New SI Unit for Measuring Pseudoscientific Bullshit – The Chopra


It was started at Avicenna’s blog A Million Gods.

He opened that post with this:

Am I the only one who wishes the SI unit for “bullshitting about science” to be measured in Deepak Chopras?

And no, he’s not.

I responded:

Know what? If someone’s willing to work out the math on that, then I’m gonna start using it. We can make it a meme.

(Don’t ask me to do the math. I need a calculator to figure out Graham’s number times 0.)

(For the record… my calculator said the answer was 0… can someone confirm that for me? :p)

To which Avery Thompson responded:

If anything, the standard SI unit should be miliChopras, because a single Chopra would be far too large to be useful.

Then, Daniel Schealler said:

Also, I vote for the Chopra (C) and the deciChopra (dC) on a logarithmic scale.

Mainly because the added confusion it would bring would be funny.

^_^

So then, using the metric prefix article on Wikipedia, I came up with this:

I have the labels if someone can do the numbers:

From smallest to biggest:

yoctoChopra (yC) – 0.000000000000000000000001
zeptoChopra (zC) – 0.000000000000000000001
attoChopra (aC) – 0.000000000000000001
femtoChopra (fC) – 0.000000000000001
picoChopra (pC) – 0.000000000001
nanoChopra (nC) – 0.000000001
microChopra (µC) – 0.000001
milliChopra (mC) – 0.001
centiChopra (cC) – 0.01
deciChopra (dC) – 0.1

Chopra (C) – 1

decaChopra (daC) – 10
hectoChopra (hC) – 100
kiloChopra (kC) – 1,000
megaChopra (MC) – 1,000,000
gigaChopra (GC) – 1,000,000,000
teraChopra (TC) – 1,000,000,000,000
petaChopra (PC) – 1,000,000,000,000,000
exaChopra (EC) – 1,000,000,000,000,000,000
zettaChopra (ZC) – 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
yottaChopra (YC) – 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Someone else will have to figure out how to use this objectively… that is, objectively measure the level/number of Chopras a particular piece of pseudoscience can be measured by. I fee like Chopra himself should not be the measure, because I think his shit frequently hits 1 YC… perhaps more…

Also, my life would be completely made if this becomes a thing, for so many reasons.

Make it a thing.

Please.

To which Avery Thompson replied:

Ok, the Chopra unit:
The Chopra (C) is a measure of how much bullshit there is in a given sample. Each bullshit statement is equivalent to 1 C of bullshit, so an article that makes 15 bullshit statements would be about 15 C’s. I tried to count Chopra’s piece featured in this article, but I realized that it would be at least 20 C’s and I don’t have that kind of time.
The Chopra is a measure of quantity, that is, the total amount of bullshit. We can also measure the amount of bullshit per word count. This would give us the frequency of bullshit in a given piece. For instance, if you counted the number of words in the piece, you could calculate Chopras per word. However, this value would be extremely small (probably somewhere in the 10^-2 or 10^-3 range) so it would most likely be measured in the mili-Chopra range. This unit, mC/word, doesn’t have a name yet, but I’m open to suggestions.
For spoken bullshit, you could also define a time frequency, mC/s. It might also be possible to define a time derivative, mC/s^2, but then it starts to get a little ridiculous.

Ridiculous or not, this is fucking awesome.

Memers, I demand it: MAKE IT HAPPEN!

The Chopra… the official SI Unit for measuring pseudoscientific bullshit.

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About Nathan Hevenstone

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10 Responses to New SI Unit for Measuring Pseudoscientific Bullshit – The Chopra

  1. CgyRed says:

    Oh hell yeah. Make this happen! I’ve been feeling a little Chopra-deprived since he blocked me, so with this I’d feel less left out of his BS.

  2. Eric says:

    The article also affords an opportunity to quantify someone’s tolerance for bullshit. Based on the article, Avery Thompson’s tolerance can bound assigned a lower bound of 20 Chopras per document. We could describe this as your Chopra Limit, and perhaps adopt tc;dr as a convention for dismissing something as too full of bullshit to finish reading. A count of tc;dr in responses would then provide a social network metric approximation of Chopra quantification for documents which have intolerably high amounts of BS.

  3. cypherpunks says:

    What’s the conversaion factor between Chopras and microLenats? We already have a well-developed theory of quantum bogodynamics.

  4. mC/word should be referred to as the “CD” rating, or “Chopra Density” rating, I think.

  5. brianbuchbinder says:

    For Chopras/word I vote for “OZ”, after TV’s largest purveyor.

  6. Peter says:

    But C stands for Coulomb :/

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